so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
