Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
