There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
