did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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