found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize