The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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