Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
