I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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