Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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