Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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