end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
