Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
