Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
