wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
