She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
