Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
