oh god the rape fog is back!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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