That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
