Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
