He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
