Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
