I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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