# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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