She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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