took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
