My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I faked an abortion last night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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