Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
