There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it hurts more in the daytime
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
