She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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