I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
