No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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