dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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