did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
