shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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