I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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