No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
