So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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