we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Terrible idea I love it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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