That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
