I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize