Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
