we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
