its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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