I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
