she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What a dumb baby whore.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
