gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I would ride that face into the sunset
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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