dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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