You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
