I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
