dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
