I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
