hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
